Icebreakers​

It’s currently midnight and I’m bored so here are some questions from an icebreaker app I decided to download and my answers to them.

“What’s the most important thing to you in a romantic relationship?”

Comfort. Being comfortable being my true self around them, not feeling like I have to change who I am to make them happy or act like a different person in their presence. Being comfortable being my usual weird self and say out loud all the random stuff I think in my head. Feeling comfortable saying yes to things I usually wouldn’t or comfortable saying no to things I don’t wanna do, without the worry it would upset them.  Being comfortable telling them the bad things in my head and past, knowing they won’t judge me for it. Being comfortable being vulnerable, both emotionally and physically. Being comfortable being intimate without letting my own insecurities get in the way. I think comfort is kinda important in most relationships tbh.

“Describe your sense of humour”

I think witty is a thing that people have said a few times that I am. I sometimes have quick-witted responses to stuff people say and that gets a laugh from myself and people around me. Also always can’t beat a good/bad pun!

“What scares you?”

Death, plain and simple. Also the dark. (every fear is apparently based on the idea that it can kill you and with the dark being primarily the complete unknown then death is highly likely right?!)

“What makes you calm?”

Simple sensory experiences like listening to chill acoustic music, or ASMR (tingly/goosebump feeling on your body) through watching videos dedicated to giving people that sensation, or someone playing with my hair, or stroking fluffy animals.

“How do you cheer yourself up?”

Looking at pictures of funny animals, watching game grumps, talking to my friends and family, singing along/dancing to loud music, thinking about good memories or in desperate times, having a good cry and a nap can fix anything….also retail therapy or dying my hair again.

“What do you think should be taught in schools?”

Decent sex education and like more than one class in high school. I personally didn’t find it helpful watching someone putting a condom on a dildo in year 10 and seeing awful pictures of STI’s when I didn’t start having sex until years later and had long forgotten any helpful advice they might have given. Teach people about consent, different types of sex, where to get contraception from, the importance of sexual health clinics, and to (those of you with vaginas) PEE AFTER SEX to avoid getting a urinary tract infection as that stuff isn’t pleasant!!

“What can you do to improve your self-esteem?”

Understand that you judge yourself a whole lot more than others will judge you, you live your entire life looking intensely at your own body and most people around you will possibly never seen any flaws that you do or they just won’t care. Wear the clothes or makeup you want to in public as often as possible to get used to it, never feel like you need to wear certain styles or pieces of clothing that don’t suit you. Make yourself feel good on the inside too has so many benefits, take care of your health physically and it can influence your mental health massively.
Also, take nudes and appreciate naked you bby, you’re beautiful xx

“What first impressions do you think others have of you?”

Probably that painfully shy awkward person because sometimes I struggle to talk in front of new people or when put in a new situation. However, if I do talk they probs think I’m just a nice basic girl, which I think is a fair first impression and can’t really expect an indepth idea of someone from an initial meeting.

“What does your dream person look like?”

Going off the physical ‘type’ I have is, which is very general:
women – blonde or ginger, feminine style
men – tall, dark(-ish hair) and handsome
nb – cute people
No preference for body type bc I don’t really care. However at the end of the day, I will always fall for a person, not a type or a gender.

(I included nb people because my bisexuality takes the form of two meaning: “people who identify as the same gender as me” and then “everyone else”)

“What do you wish you had the courage to do?”

Tell people how I really feel about them. I’m definitely too nice sometimes when I should tell people I disagree with something they’ve said or if they need to be told to shut up. However, sometimes I think I might need to tell the important people in my life how much I appreciate and love them and how wonderful and unique they are.

“What is your favourite thing to do on holiday?”

Either relax or explore, I think you need a good mixture to be able to get the full experience of wherever you are. If it’s in a different country then go out and discover the cultural differences, the food, the architecture, the people, the weather! Even if it’s in the same country then go for long walk to see the surroundings, have a little day adventure if you feel capable. But also nothing wrong with taking an afternoon nap either or having a PJ day if you fancy it or having a lie in during the day or chilling by the pool. Time enjoyed is not time wasted.

“What was missing for you at school?”

Good mental health.

Aaaaaaand on that slightly depressing note I think I’ll end this blog post here. Hope you have learnt more about me if you didn’t know this stuff already or taken on board some of my possibly unhelpful advice.

Let me know if you agree or have any different responses to these questions would love to hear it!

ttyl Jess/x

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